A Shadow of Crows Read online

  “Keep an eye on me. If I start acting weird, call Herne and ask him to contact Marilee.”

  He nodded. “All right, but I assume you mean oddball weird, and not your normal self.” He stuck his tongue out at me as I smacked him on the arm.

  “Dork. Come on, let’s get a move on. We’ve got a long hike in front of us.”

  We started off again, heading down the path as it began to descend deeper into the park. We had gone about half a mile before we found the turnoff onto the Beach Trail, and that looked like a steeper hike than the trail we were on. Going down wouldn’t be the problem, but going up? Quite another matter.

  “The fact that Ulstair can jog this path gives me an instant respect for the man,” Viktor said. He was sure-footed and steady on steep slopes, given his half-ogre blood, but he was also the first to give credit where he felt it warranted. And though this trail was easy-peasy for him, he wasn’t the type to diss others who weren’t so athletically inclined.

  “Yeah, I wish I had brought a walking stick for balance. I’m no slouch, but I can tell you this—I wouldn’t try running this trail. Walking is plenty difficult as it is.” I stared at the five-foot drop in front of me. It was almost perpendicular. I finally just jumped, landing firmly at the bottom. The gradient was still steep, but not as bad as that last scramble.

  “I can get you one, if you like.”

  I shook my head. “No, I don’t think I want to carry anything that comes from—”

  I paused. A stray shaft of sunlight broke through the clouds, temporarily blinding me. I covered my eyes, squinting. Then as the clouds rolled in, the sun faded just as quickly as it had arrived, but before the last glint of it vanished, I caught sight of something shining in the bushes to the right side of the road.

  “What’s that?” I pointed to the object.

  Viktor picked his way through the brambles. He froze, then pulled out a vinyl glove and put it on before picking up what was a phone. “It’s got blood on it, Ember.”

  I held my breath as he hit the “emergency open” button and checked out the recent calls. “A dozen calls at least in the past week. All from Raven BoneTalker.”

  My stomach lurched. We had found Ulstair’s phone, but there was no Ulstair in sight, and given the blood on the phone, I had the feeling that we were now looking for a corpse rather than a missing person.

  Chapter 5

  WE BEGAN TO comb through the nearby tangle of brambles and briars, but the phone was the only thing we found. I was relieved that we hadn’t found a body, but that just left us with more questions. Finally, with the light waning, we headed back up the trail to the car. By the time we got to the parking lot, the afternoon was slipping toward dusk.

  “Do you think I should tell Raven we found Ulstair’s phone?” I stared at the device, which Viktor had bagged. We probably wouldn’t pull any usable fingerprints off of it, but it was worth a shot. Not unless whoever had tossed it in the bushes had been human. Most Cryptos weren’t fingerprinted.

  “No, not yet. Let’s see what we can find out first. If you tell her now, she’ll just think the worst and that’s not something she needs to do until we know for sure whether he’s dead.” Viktor paused as we approached our cars. “Ember, is something going on between you and Herne? You both seemed out of sorts this morning.”

  “Why don’t you ask Herne?” I paused, shaking my head. “I know something’s up, but he’s apparently decided that I don’t need to know whatever it is.” My words came out more harshly than I had planned, and I immediately regretted it. I gave a frustrated shrug. “Don’t mind me. I’m just… I’m not used to being in a relationship, especially one that’s lasted this long, and I’ve never dated a god before. Sometimes things just feel a little surreal.”

  “Not a problem, Ember,” the half-ogre said. “But if you need to talk, I’m here.” He tossed me a two-fingered salute. “See you back at the office.”

  I slowly got in my car and with a whirl of thoughts in my head, followed him back to the agency.

  YUTANI WAS BUSY on the Callan case, so Talia took Ulstair’s phone and started work on it. She carried it into the back room to run some analyses on it, shutting the door behind her so nobody bothered her.

  I slumped down in a chair beside Angel. Herne didn’t seem to be around, but right now, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to talk to him.

  “So, I haven’t told Raven about the phone yet. Viktor thinks we should sit on the news until we know more.” I wasn’t happy about keeping her in the dark, but Viktor was right. If we contacted her with the information now, we’d just worry her.

  “I like her,” Angel said.

  “So do I. She’s got the cutest gargoyle. He’s a guardian, I think. His name is Raj. He’s about the size of a Rottweiler. I don’t know how young he is, but he seems to be a sweetheart. She’s also got ferrets but they were asleep and she didn’t want to wake them.” I paused, then said, “I wouldn’t mind asking her over for dinner some time, if you’re game.”

  “Sounds good to me—” Angel stopped, glancing up as Herne exited his office and, catching sight of Angel and me, he made a beeline for us.

  “Hey,” he said, looking strained. Possibly more strained than I ever remembered seeing him. “Ember, can you come over to my place tonight?” He paused, looking uncomfortable, then tugged at the collar of his T-shirt. It was a “Save the Forests” shirt, with a picture of a massive oak tree on it.

  I glanced back at Angel, tempted to blow him off. We’d see how he liked being treated like he had treated me. But then, I decided that was childish and it wouldn’t get us anywhere.

  “Sure, for a while. When?”

  He glanced up at the clock. “Now? It’s almost five. We aren’t going to get much else done today. Did you find anything out about Ulstair?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, Viktor and I found his phone. Apparently, it looks like he was on a jog through UnderLake Park when he vanished. Talia’s working on it right now. Meanwhile, I’ve got a pretty good bead on Raven. She’s someone that I think I could be friends with. Ante-Fae or not, she’s pretty cool.”

  “Just be cautious,” Herne said. “The Ante-Fae are always more than what they seem.”

  I nodded, glancing at Angel, who shrugged and shook her head. “So you’ll be late for dinner?” she asked.

  I turned back to Herne. “Will I be home in time for dinner?”

  He just muttered noncommittally and held up his keys. “Do you want to ride with me, or drive over on your own?”

  I had the feeling I might be glad to have my own wheels. “I’ll drive, especially since Angel and I both brought our cars today.” Turning to her, I lowered my voice. “Go ahead and eat, but…you know, leave me some binge food in case I come home with mascara stains on my face.”

  She nodded, squeezing my hand. “You always know I’ve got your back.”

  “Yeah, I do. And sometimes, I think you’re the only one.”

  HERNE LIVED IN a spacious house that bordered the North Meadow Carkeek Park, off of 119th Street. He rented it, though I had the feeling the owner was someone he knew. I hadn’t ever bothered asking, though. The house was gorgeous, open concept with one giant “great room” that housed the living room, dining room, and kitchen. There were three bedrooms and two baths off to the left, and a sunroom off the right. While Herne stayed at my house a lot, every now and then I’d sleep at his place. We would wake up early and head out back, onto a trail into the park. He would turn into a stag and I would ride him down the edge of the water where we would follow the train tracks to a patch of sandy shoals in another part of the park.

  All the way over to Herne’s, I dreaded what he was going to say. Was he tired of me? Was he angry? I couldn’t imagine what had happened, but whatever it was, it seemed to have sent him into a slump. I wondered if Myrna had reminded him of some promise he made her and now he had to find a way to tell me we were done.

  Gripping the steerin
g wheel tighter, I tried to focus on driving. I reached Herne’s house shortly after he did and as I walked up to the door, I wasn’t sure whether to just walk in—like I usually did—or knock. I opted for ringing the bell.

  He opened the door, looking confused. “Why didn’t you just come in?”

  I slowly entered the foyer. Tiled with shale rock, it was beautiful. The ceiling was a good twenty feet, stretching to the second floor. The second story housed a library and a workout room. Both had been bedrooms, but Herne preferred sleeping downstairs.

  “I wasn’t sure if I was welcome.” I paused in the hall, not certain whether I should kiss him or not. He answered the question by slowly pulling me to him and pressing his lips to mine for a long, quiet kiss. As I broke away, I felt my eyes stinging and tried to blink back the tears that had been threatening every time I wondered what was wrong.

  “All right, tell me. What happened between yesterday and today? What’s going on?” I stepped back, wanting to know whatever the truth was. “You’ve been so quiet and aloof that I’m worried you want out of the relationship. If so, please, just tell me now and get it over with.”

  He blinked, but didn’t look surprised. “I knew you thought that, but I needed a little time to process how to tell you what I’ve just found out. First, no, I don’t want out of the relationship. I love you, Ember.”

  I breathed a little easier. “Then, what’s going on? What happened? Does it have to do with Myrna, whoever she is?” I hated feeling jealous, but the fact was that I did.

  He sighed. “Come sit down. We need to talk about this. Something has happened—something I wasn’t prepared for, and that I still don’t know quite how to deal with. But deal with it, I must.” Herne led me into the living room and poured us each a goblet of mead. “You’re going to need this. I did.”

  Frowning, I curled up on the leather sofa that stretched out facing the back windows, which were floor to ceiling. They overlooked the park, and I liked sitting here with my coffee, musing over my thoughts. Sipping my mead, I waited until he sat down beside me. He leaned forward, setting his goblet on a coaster, on the long wooden slab of log that he had turned into a coffee table.

  “Okay, first, you have to understand that I used to be a bit wild. Nothing like Kipa, mind you, but after he broke up my engagement to Nya, I went through a bad patch. I sowed my oats…well…quite happily. And Myrna was one of my last good-time girlfriends before I began to settle down again. This was about sixty years ago.”

  “Okay,” I said. So Myrna was an old girlfriend. But it sounded like they had never been serious. “We all go through that phase.”

  “Yeah, but…I never knew. Please believe me, nobody ever even hinted about this.” He looked so hangdog that I wanted to wrap my arms around him, but I held myself back, waiting.

  “What is it? Just tell me. We’ll work through it.” I held out my hands as he reached for them, setting my goblet next to his. “What’s going on?”

  He heaved a long sigh and let it out slowly. “Myrna has just seen fit to tell me that I have a daughter. Her daughter. The girl is sixty years old, which sounds older than it is, given the fact that I’m a demigod and Myrna is an Amazon. But apparently Danielle wants to get to know me, and Myrna has decided that it’s time we met. Myrna wants Danielle to stay with me for a while.”

  I stared at him. A daughter? Herne was a father? Unable to process how I felt, I tried to search for the right words. On one hand, he wasn’t leaving me. On the other, my lover and boyfriend just had dropped the bomb on me that he had a daughter who was older than I was. Clearing my throat, I reached for my glass and downed the rest of the mead in one slug. Then, I sat back, letting out a sigh of my own.

  “Ember? Love? Say something. Please.” Herne looked like he was going through hell.

  I finally found my voice. “I’m not sure what to say. I mean…this isn’t exactly like telling me that you adopted a dog or that you bought a new motorcycle. You have a child, Herne. Granted, she may be grown up—is she?” I paused, wondering just how old the girl was, emotionally speaking.

  “Think teenager, given her parentage.”

  “Lovely. You have a teenager, whom you’ve never met, and your ex-girlfriend wants you to take the girl in. I mean, I get it—I truly do, but why did Myrna wait until now to tell you? Why not tell you when she found out that she was pregnant?” I was beginning to feel a little testy. Finding out my boyfriend was a father was a little more than I’d been prepared for.

  “Myrna didn’t think I’d man up back then. I’m sad to say, she was probably right. I was pissed off and angry. I don’t know if I would have done what I needed to do.” He waited for a beat, but there wasn’t much I could say. I had a million questions, but none of them were well thought out, and I was aware enough to know that I needed to calm down before verbalizing anything that I might regret saying later on.

  “Ember? Honey? Say something.”

  I stared at him, trying to think of what to say. Finally, I asked, “So Danielle—that’s the girl’s name?” He nodded. “So, Danielle is coming to live with you for a while. What about Myrna? Is she moving in, too?”

  He shook his head. “No. I promise you, there’s nothing between us. But she will be moving to the general area for a while, in case Danielle needs her.”

  I stared at my hands, then picked up my goblet and refilled it, slamming the mead back. After wiping my mouth, I finally worked up the nerve to ask, “So tell me. How do you feel about this?”

  “I don’t know, to be honest.” He blinked, then tugged at his collar. “Obviously, I’m going to do what’s necessary for the girl. She’s my daughter and I have to take responsibility. But…”

  “But what? By the way, how do you know Myrna is telling you the truth? Is there some divine paternity test you can ask for?” It hadn’t escaped my thoughts that this might just be a ruse for Myrna to worm her way back into Herne’s life.

  He nodded. “Yeah. I’m waiting for the results. Last night, Danielle and I went to Cernunnos’s palace and Ferosyn did the tests. We’ll know in—” He paused as his phone beeped. He glanced at the screen. “My father, probably with the results.”

  He answered while I poured myself another glass of mead. At least I knew why Herne had been acting so oddly. And at least I wasn’t the cause.

  Herne pocketed his phone and turned back to me, a bleak look on his face. “Yeah, I’m her father. I’ve got myself a baby Amazon, it seems.”

  I set my glass down, clearing my throat. “Well, we know it’s for real.”

  “Very much so. My father and mother are clear that I’m to make things right. Danielle will be moving in tomorrow morning. I have no real clue what to say to make this better. Ember,” he slowly leaned toward me, looking as though he feared I might run away. “I love you. Please believe me. I’ll do whatever I can to make this as easy as possible for all of us. But I can’t push her away. I can’t deny my own flesh and blood.”

  “I don’t remember asking you to,” I said, trying to control my own emotions. As upset as I was, I couldn’t imagine being in Herne’s position. And I couldn’t even be angry at Myrna, given the fact that she had been knocked up by a god who then danced off to go party elsewhere. I let out a long breath. “So, Papa, how do you feel?”

  He stared at me for a moment, and when I smiled, his shoulders sagged and he let out a sigh of relief. “Scared as fuck. I never expected to be a father this young. Some of the gods don’t give a shit about where they sow their seed, but I’ve never been that type. Not really. Myrna was there during a bad time in my life. I’m afraid she paid for my heartbreak. I didn’t exactly cut and run, but things were going fairly well, and I got scared. I decided I couldn’t chance another broken heart, so I ended things abruptly. I guess she must have been pregnant when that happened. I do remember her saying that she had something to tell me, but I dumped her before she got around to it. I feel like I burned her, you know?”
/>   He opened his arms to me, and I slid into his embrace, closing my eyes.

  “Yeah, I suppose so.” I paused, then asked, “Did you love her? Were you in love with her?” I had to know, because all it would take was something like this to rekindle old feelings. Herne might say he loved me, but I knew all too well how the past could infect the present.

  He kissed my forehead, then the top of my head as he held me close, swaying gently. “No, love. I didn’t love Myrna. I liked her. She was fun to be with, but I was still so angry at Nya for fucking Kipa and flaunting it in front of my face that I was numb.”

  Herne had been engaged to a dryad named Nya. Kipa, Herne’s distant relation and spirit of the wolves, had bedded her. When Herne caught them, they invited him to join them and that had ended any friendship between the cousins. Nya had been lucky—she made it out with her skin intact.

  “So, Myrna was a rebound fling.”

  “Yes. She and several others. I just hope to the gods none of the other women I was with show up with a paternity order. I was always careful, but mistakes happen.” He froze, then looked at me. “You’re using that concoction Ferosyn put together for you, right?”

  I pulled back, almost insulted. I didn’t want a child, but neither did I care for the tone Herne had used. “Yeah, I’m on my period, remember? I guess you’ll be luckier with me than you were with Myrna.” There was a bitter tone to my voice that I couldn’t rein in.

  Herne groaned and dropped to the sofa. “I didn’t mean it that way. Oh hell, I’m just making a mess of everything. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I can’t bear it if you’re angry with me right now.”

  I stewed, but finally let him draw me down to the sofa again. “Listen, I know you’re flummoxed over this, but dude, you have to let me have my own feelings. This isn’t an easy tidbit to accept. All of a sudden, you have a family and you have responsibilities to them. I understand that. I do. But I feel like I’m on precarious ground. You have to bear with me a little bit, too.”