Maudlin's Mayhem (Bewitching Bedlam Book 2) Page 5

  Sandy glanced at me as I slumped into a chair. “Do you know what your newest guests do for a living?”

  I rolled my eyes. “I have a pretty good guess. I really don’t want to know, do I?”

  She let out a strangled laugh. “It seems that Ralph Greyhoof and his brothers are running a sideline. They make bargain-basement porn flicks and sell them on the net.”

  The thought of the Greyhoof boys at the helm of a seedy porn industry didn’t faze me at all. It seemed all too fitting. “Lovely. Which means that Snow and her boys…”

  “Are porn stars in his latest flick, Snow White and the Seven Whorves.”

  I blinked. “That’s a horrible name. It doesn’t even…oh, never mind. So, did you find out who Snow really is? I don’t think she’s human.”

  Sandy rubbed her forehead. “I really wish I had some brain bleach. There are things that—once you know about them, cannot be unknown.”

  “That bad?”

  She nodded. “I have no idea how he did it, but it seems that Ralph decided having the real thing would be better than hiring actors. Snow says he considers himself to be the next Alfred Hitchcock, only of the porn brigade. Anyway, he did something that brought Snow White and the dwarves out of the book. Before he’ll let them return, he’s making them act in his movie.”

  “You have to be kidding. That’s sex slavery.” I pulled out my phone. “I’m calling Delia. He has to be breaking some law—”

  “Nope. Because when you think about it, technically Snow White doesn’t exist, not in this form. The only reason she’s here is that he’s created an automaton, like our holeos. Only she’s a lot more substantial. If the spell’s broken, she’ll vanish back into the book. So no, he’s skirting the law in a most unsavory way.”

  Sandy crossed to the fridge, where she brought out a plate filled with chicken and macaroni and cheese. “I made sure to save your favorite pieces,” she said, sliding it into the microwave. “So, tell me what happened at the bank? Who do I need to kill?”

  That’s one thing about best friends. They always knew how to make you feel better.

  “Thanks—I’m starved. And as to our target, well, somebody in Dubai is living it up on my money.” I told her everything that had happened. “I need access to my money. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to lose the house or starve, but that’s my money. I need reserves while we continue to keep the business running. Aegis has offered to help before, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have as much as most vampires accumulate. Rachel cleaned him out, for the most part. Or at least, I think she did. And while it’s a lot easier for him to make money than me, I have no desire to be a burden on him. Especially financially.”

  I finally ran out of steam and sat there in silence, drinking my mocha while Sandy brought me the plate of food. “Where’s Bubba? Did you see him? I could use a good dose of that fuzzy love right now.”

  “I haven’t seen him.” Sandy glanced around. “Maybe we should go look for him? By the way, I set up Snow and the boys in their rooms and got the cash from them. You’re going to have a word with Ralph about setting his creations free on the community, aren’t you?”

  “You know me all too well. I’m looking for a punching bag right now.”

  I began to call for Bubba. Sandy and I searched through the main floor, then ran up to the second floor. Bubba wasn’t anywhere to be found, and he wasn’t in Mr. Mosswood’s room, either. Then I dashed downstairs to see if he had somehow gotten himself locked in the basement. Sandy followed, slowly. She was leery of my basement—it still had a creepy feel to it.

  There were any number of cubbyholes where he could be hiding, but I motioned for Sandy to wait while I slipped into Aegis’s lair. There, sitting in the rocking chair, was Franny, staring at his coffin. And curled on top of the coffin was Bubba. He lifted his head as I slipped in the room.

  “Bubs…where have you been? How did you get locked in here? Are you okay?” I lifted him into my arms and he curled up against my shoulder. “Do you feel okay? I’ve been looking all over for you.”

  Franny cleared her throat. “He was here when I got here a few minutes ago.”

  I stared at her. “Do you sit and watch my boyfriend’s coffin very often?”

  She shrugged. “Only when I need to think. I always leave before he wakes up because he says it freaks him out to have me watching him.”

  “Then maybe you could respect his wishes and not do it.” I carried Bubba upstairs and over to the table, where I lay him down and examined him. That he was letting me turn him this way and that and prod him wasn’t a good sign.

  “Is he okay?” Sandy had followed me.

  “I don’t know. He’s awfully quiet. Cjinns don’t get sick very often, so I’m not entirely sure what the problem is. I need to visit the doctor.” There were several specialists in the PretCom community who took care of all variety of Supes. “Who do you take Mr. Peabody to?”

  Sandy looked at me. “Really? Mr. Peabody is all skunk. I take him to a vet.”

  “Okay. Then I guess…” I frowned. I hadn’t needed a doctor in years, except when Aegis’s ex-girlfriend Rachel had messed me up a few months back. “I suppose I can just call the clinic and ask.”

  “Here, let me call them for you. I have them on speed dial.”

  At my look, she gave me a quick shrug. “Remember, I’m taking care of Derry’s daughter, Jenna.” Derry, Sandy’s friend, was on an extended world tour. “She’s thirteen and kids are at the doctors on a perpetual basis, it seems. Two weeks ago, she fell while she was doing some wildcrafting. I got a call from a nurse at Neverfall that my ward had broken two fingers, cut her lip on her tooth, and had a badly bruised knee. It was two in the morning. I gather they were learning to harvest mandrake.”

  “Oh, yeah. And mandrake always has to be harvested under the cover of night.”

  She paused, then said into her phone, “My friend needs to bring her cjinn in for a checkup.… We’re not sure, but he’s lethargic and hasn’t eaten today.” She waited for a moment, then pulled a notebook out of her purse and scribbled something down. “Farrows? Dr. Jordan Farrows, at three p.m. tomorrow? All right. The name? Maudlin Gallowglass… Oh, of the cjinn? Bubba. Yes, I said Bubba. All right. Thank you.”

  She dropped her phone back into her purse. “The nurse said that if he gets worse, go to Urgent Care, but if he stays like this, you have an appointment tomorrow with—”

  “Let me guess. Jordan Farrows? Thanks. Where’s the place located?”

  “The Bedlam Medical Center, third floor, room 311. That’s where Farrows’s office is. Be there at three. I’ll text the info to you to make sure you have it.” She reached out and ruffled Bubba’s head. “Hey, little dude. You want me to rub your belly?”

  But Bubba merely looked at her, then quietly got up and gingerly jumped to the floor. As he headed over to his bed by the rocking chair, I found myself really beginning to worry. Bubba and I might argue, but he was my heart and soul, and I couldn’t imagine life without the little guy.

  DELIA ARRIVED SHORTLY after five. Aegis was still asleep and would be till after seven, thanks to the damned daylight saving time that we’d just switched over to. Sandy had gone home, and I was trying to figure out how to deal with my overly full B&B and my empty bank balance. But mostly, I was just concerned about Bubba, who had eaten a little, then gone back to sleep.

  Delia Walters wasn’t just the sheriff of Bedlam, but she was a werewolf as well. She wasn’t a great beauty, but she was smart as a whip and as tough as one, too. Her hair was strawberry blond, and until recently she had worn it in a long braid. But today, she was sporting a new ‘do—a short shag that skimmed her collar. The new cut brought her into the twenty-first century. Short, sturdy, and entirely focused on business, Delia was a whirlwind. Nothing got past her observant eye, although her logic sometimes interfered with her intuition. She had a tendency to go by the book, even if it didn’t fully jibe with the
facts. But she was good at her job, and I liked her.

  She took copious notes as I told her what had transpired at the credit union. After I finished, she tucked her pad and pen back in her pocket.

  “They haven’t called the station yet. I’ll bet they’re trying to lawyer up before you sue them. I’ll drop by tomorrow morning and light a fire under Ms. Emily Chambers.” She paused, then asked, “Have you lost your credit cards recently? Checkbook come up missing? Do you use their online banking system?”

  “No, no, and yes. I suppose someone could have gotten my information some other way. I do a lot of online shopping and have my Spell-Bay account hooked up to my bank account.”

  “Not the best idea. Change your passwords immediately and have someone check out your computer. The hackers are so good now that it’s almost impossible for most AV software to catch all the .exe programs. All it takes is one click of the mouse on a suspicious email and boom, you’ve opened yourself up to strangers the world ‘round. I hear there’s a new wave of scammers and hackers focusing on PretCom instead of humans.”

  “Why?” That didn’t make sense to me. We were fewer in number than humans and usually more dangerous.

  “Think about it. We live a lot longer and generally accumulate a lot more wealth. How many humans do you know with over fifty thousand dollars in their bank account?”

  “But I got that money from selling my condo. That’s all I came away from the divorce with. Craig saw to that.” I wanted to protest, but then stopped. “Though when you think about it, I guess you’re right. Not all PretCom are rich, not by a long shot. But a number of us have a tidy amount in savings, especially vampires and witches. The Weres and Shifters don’t seem to accumulate as much.”

  “That’s because we don’t use magic very much. It’s easier to make money when you have glamour at your disposal, or magic to invoke abundance.” She laughed. “I’m not picking on you or Aegis. Frankly, like all werewolves, I’m scared of magic, but because I’m the sheriff, I need to keep my fear under control. So I do. But if I wasn’t? Don’t get me wrong—I like you, Maddy, but I wouldn’t want to be your neighbor.”

  I nodded. Werewolves, especially, had an anathema to magic. And to vampires. And to humans. And to modernization. Delia wasn’t a typical member of the pack, that was for sure. Most of the werewolves I knew worked in physically demanding jobs—construction, shipping, park rangers, and forest service personnel, that sort of thing. Their innate fear of fire kept most of them from becoming firefighters, but they made excellent soldiers, lifeguards, and personal trainers.

  “So how are things otherwise?” Delia gave me a long look. “I heard a rumor you have a bunch of guests.”

  I blushed. “Yeah. I have…some very unusual guests. Apparently, Ralph Greyhoof is trying to become a linchpin in the low-budget porn industry.” I told her about Snow. “Apparently, I’m now housing porn stars. Porn stars who aren’t even real people—who are fresh out of the pages of a fairytale. Honestly, if this happened to anybody else, I’d laugh my head off.”

  “Be careful. Greyhoof’s been on a tear lately and he’s not happy at you. I’d love to bust him for illicit activity. Unfortunately, filming a porn flick isn’t against the law. Neither is using automatons or holeos in the production of it. But I’ll figure out some way to shut him down.”

  “I wish you would. I wish they’d just move.”

  “Those brothers are going to be the death of me, I swear. I’ve got files so thick on all of them that I had to commandeer an entire drawer in the cabinet for them.” She laughed and stood up. “Okay, Maddy. I’ll call you after I have my chat with Emily tomorrow. Hopefully, we can get them to fast track your case. I’m also calling the FBI.”

  And with that, she put her hat back on, and headed out.

  I glanced at the clock. Still another hour before Aegis woke up. I knelt beside Bubba again. He glanced up at me, looking bereft. But his nose felt cool, and he lazily licked my fingers when I tickled him under the chin.

  “Just make sure you stay well, Bub,” I said softly. “I really can’t deal with you being sick right now. Or ever. You’re my special guy, you know?”

  Bubba touched my hand with his paw and let out a soft “Purp.”

  As I carried the dishes and cups to the sink, Thornton entered the kitchen. He glanced at Bubba, then at my face.

  “Let me take care of those.” He took the tray from me. “Why don’t you and Bubba go rest?”

  Grateful, I accepted. At this moment, that was all I could think of doing.

  Chapter 5

  BY THE TIME Aegis joined me, I had fallen asleep next to Bubba. I woke as he lightly cupped my shoulders and placed a kiss on my neck.

  “Maddy? Maddy, are you okay?” He sounded worried.

  I shifted and rubbed my eyes. I had fallen asleep in my clothes and now they were tangled. Aegis sat back, giving me room to sit up and shake them out. I glanced over at Bubba, who was still sleeping quietly. Without a word, I burst into tears.

  “Hey, what’s wrong? Thornton said you weren’t feeling well? Are you sick, love?” Aegis wrapped me in his arms, pulling me close as the sobs came thick and furious.

  “Noooo. I’m not sick,” I said, hiccupping on the phlegm. I cleared my throat. “I think Bubba is. We have an appointment tomorrow to see the doctor. I’m worried about him.” I pressed my lips together, trying not to break out in a fresh round of tears. But my heart ached. I loved Bubba, and the thought that something might be wrong with him tore me apart.

  “What’s wrong with him? Hey, little dude, can you tell us what’s wrong?” He reached for Bubba but I stopped him.

  “Let him sleep. If he’s sick that’s the best thing he can do until we get him into the doctor. Today’s been a total mess. Dubai ate all my money and we have porn stars staying in the guest rooms.” The words tumbled out in a rush. I rubbed my head. Even though I didn’t feel sick, I was a little woozy and I felt flushed.

  Aegis kissed my forehead again. “What do you mean? Dubai? Porn stars? How can so much have happened since I went to sleep last night?” He handed me a tissue.

  I wiped my eyes and blew my nose as I checked on Bubba. He was breathing softly and evenly, and didn’t show any signs of distress. “I guess we can leave him here, but I want to make certain he doesn’t go hide under anything in a different room, so I’m going to close him in here. He has a litter box in the bathroom here, too.”

  “Good idea. Go wash your face and then you can tell me about everything while I fix you some dinner.” He patted me on the ass as I headed toward the bathroom. I washed my face, thinking I did look a little flushed. But then again, I was stressed, and I’d been sleeping on my stomach, which I seldom did, and my face had been pressed against the pillow. I went to the bathroom and washed my hands, and finally, straightening my skirt and top, returned to the bedroom. Aegis and I headed downstairs after gently closing the door to keep Bubba in my room.

  Thornton was bustling through the kitchen, carrying a stack of dishes.

  I glanced at the clock. “What’s going on? We don’t serve dinner—”

  “Snow and her gang ordered pizza and asked for dishes to eat it on. I figured you wouldn’t mind since they paid cash. The delivery driver said they tipped him a hundred bucks, by the way. You might want to rethink your room charges if they stay a second night.” He grinned. “Franny was with them, asking them about what it’s like to live in a book. I don’t think they quite knew what to say. And don’t worry, they’re all dressed.”

  I shuddered at the image that conjured up. I really didn’t want to think about a gang-bang scene starring Snow and her entourage. “Fine.”

  Aegis headed to the fridge. “What do you want for dinner? It’s already eight.”

  I sat down on one of the stools at the counter, leaning my elbows on the granite. “Soup would be good, and biscuits?”

  “Chicken soup?”

  I nodded. One of
my go-to comfort foods was always chicken noodle soup and those biscuits in a can that were all fluff and no substance. Aegis shook his head, but he was smiling as he opened the cupboard to pull out a can of soup and preheated the oven.

  “So tell me what happened today. What’s going on with Dubai? And why do we have a bevy of porn stars upstairs? Thornton told me we were hosting a kinky fairytale revue.” He plunked a bottle of water down in front of me. “Drink.”

  I pulled a long sip of the sparkling mineral water, then wiped my mouth and launched into the gritty details. “So Delia’s going to try to hustle the credit union into gear and I’m going over to see Ralph Greyhoof and read him the riot act.”

  “You don’t need to tangle with Ralph. You already escalated this little feud of yours when you turned him in for illegal fireworks last month. And the month before that, when you cast a spell on the snow in his yard so that it all melted and flooded his basement.”

  “He deserved everything I’ve done. He wouldn’t stop whining about the weather and I got tired of listening to him. I was just helping out.” I tried to play innocent, but Aegis may have had a point. The illegal fireworks? Yeah, my complaint was justified. But the flooded basement—that might have been going a tad too far.

  “Well, I may not need to, but I’m feeling bitchy as hell and ready to rumble.” I upended the bottle and finished the water, burping as I finished. “Excuse me.”

  “Um hm. Leave the satyrs alone. You don’t need them pissed at you again.”

  “Pissed at me? It’s not my fault they’re running a brothel masquerading as an inn. It’s not my problem that he decided to bring Snow White out of a storybook and force her to act in a porn movie for him—”

  Aegis laughed as he stirred water into my soup—half a can. I liked it strong. “She and the dwarves could have refused.”

  I blinked. “Ralph won’t let them return to the pages until they finish the movie.”

  Aegis stopped in mid-stir. “You have to be kidding me.”